#6 Zitkala Sa - Big Red Apples...Big Uncle Sam

Bila Lee
English 48B
January 23, 2009
Journal #6 Zitkala Sa

Quote
“Don’t believe a word they say. Their words are sweet, but, my child, their deeds are bitter. You will cry for me, but they will not even soothe you. Stay with me, my little one! Your brother Dawee says that going East, away from your mother, is too hard an experience for his baby sister” (Zitkala Sa 1112).

Summary
The quote was found in the chapter, “VII. The Big Red Apples,” in the autobiography titled, “Impressions of an Indian Childhood.” Zitkala Sa’s mother expressed her motherly love towards Zitkala by telling her how bad the palefaces were. Influenced by the great stories told by her best friend Judewin, Zitkala would like to explore herself to the East and see the city of Big Red Apples, and her opportunity arrived when the missionaries inquired if they could bring Zitkala. Zitkala was excited about the journey; but her mother, who possessed a richer life experience, was hesitated with reservations about the plan. She was afraid Zitkala would be hurt by the white people.

Responses
Wikipedia users describe young Zitkala Sa as a “free and innocent young girl” (Wikipedia). In her autobiography, “Impressions of an Indian Childhood”, it was literally a description of a loveable girl. For instance, she could force some elderly people to shared some legendary stories by saying, “Ask them to tell an Iktomi story, mother” (Zitkala Sa 1109), and the elderly were not hardhearted to turn her request down. It seemed like her mother would do everything to meet her wish. However, her mother was hesitated if she should unconditionally actualize her daughter’s dream to visit the East. Though the seriousness between story-telling in a dinner and an individual journey for a seven-year-old girl were distinctly different, I could see her mother’s hesitation and reservation were originated by her love to Zitkala.

In the beginning of the autobiography, Zitkala already depicted a foreshadowing to describe her mother’s poor impression against the paleface. “If the paleface does not take away from us the river we drink,” her mother told little Zitkala. It was strange for a mother-and-daughter conversation to go in such negative way, because I presume every mother would draw a peaceful, wonderful and beautiful picture about the world to their kids, as if they were the protagonists of a fairy tale. I am not doubting the reality of this conversation, but I think her mother was right in the sense that Zitkala did finally contribute a lot to her tribe by dealing with the bad paleface. In fact, her mother was like a fortune teller to address the white people to her girls. For example, the white interpreter answered Zitkala, “Yes, little girl, the nice red apples are for those who pick them; and you have a ride on the iron horse if you go with these good people” (Zitkala 1112). His sweet words were intentionally served to attract Zitkala and Zitkala did really cry for her mother because of her experience in the East.

As an international student, I experienced the feelings when I had to depart from my family. Though I left at an age much older than Zitkala, I also possessed a complicated feeling. On one hand, I was excited to explore myself to the American culture, I was also enthusiastic about my studies at Foothill College; but on another hand, I was reluctant to leave my home because I was not mentally ready to overcome those unexpected challenges on my own. Until now, I still don’t know how my parents felt two years ago – it was possible that they shared the same idea as Ziktala’s mother that they didn’t really want me to travel to the Big Uncle Sam.